#8 & #9

I did something I promised myself I wouldn't do.  I missed a week.  Sometimes life gets in the way of plans.  I want to be honest in explaining why I missed a week.  The whole point of this project was to try to help me focus on myself again.  Somewhere along my path, I've lost my way.  I let other peoples opinions and words shape who I've become and it's not something that I'm proud of. I use to have so many wonderful dreams.  Life, money, family sometimes gets in the way.  So I started this project.  It was going to give me a year of little achievements, while I focus on what I've should have been focusing on all this time.  MYSELF! 

I recently let someone in my life.  Someone who I grew to trust and like.  Perhaps, I was being foolish, but I really let myself believe in someone else again.  It ended.  In an abrupt way, that I'm still feeling the whiplash on how fast the light was switched off.  It makes me wonder how my instincts are so off and it makes me doubt myself.  However, I have decided I will not let a man define who I am or what I do.  I will not think I'm the reason for another failure in that relationship department.  I will take partial blame, but I will not let it consume me anymore. I'm going to try to put myself first...and realize we are ALL screwed up a little. So I needed a week to grieve. I take things to heart and when I finally decide to let someone in my life I let them in fully.  That is why I don't understand how people can be so cruel.  I optimistically want to believe that everyone is a good person. I know that people come into your life for a reason, and now I know that they exit your life for a reason too.  Even if you never know what that reason is, you have to accept it and more on.

No MORE wallowing in sadness (hopefully), and back on track with my project.  Since I missed last week, I doubled up this week.  Alas, the projects were not exciting, but they were new.

My first new think was trying an electronic reader.  I love to read.  Love it.  I love curling up on a couch on a winters day with a good book.  I love the feeling of holding books.  Therefore the transition to the B&N Nook was different to me.  So far so good...

The 2nd new adventure this week was going to Agatha's Murder Mystery Theatre.  It was a blast. It was a spoof on the Grinch who Stole Christmas, open bar, good people.  I even had a part!  I miss theatre (sometimes)...

I know this is short, but I wanted to write...I don't want to get behind and I want to keep this project up.  This week, I plan to not apologize to ANYONE all week.  If you know me, this WILL be extremely challenging.  Especially, during this time in my life.  But I'm gonna do my best!  Wish me luck! 

#6 & #7

Nothing real exciting...but I have done something new each week.  Last week I cut trees and hedged with a power tool thing for my Grandma.  It was kind of theraputic.  This week I baked for Thanksgiving.  Paula Dean's Lemon Blossoms.  I didn't come home with any.  They were a hit.  If you know me...I don't bake or cook!

Next time hopefully there will be something more exciting to discuss and a longer blog!

#5 To Shift or Not to Shift

My new thing number #5 was to learn to drive a stick shift.  My roommate, Hannah, graciously offered to teach me using her PT Cruiser.  I have been driving for a "few" years, but I must admit I was nervous.  I was scared I'd break the car. Hannah was very patient with me and taught me the basics.  She made me start the car going up a hill. I must admit, I stalled out ALOT.  Apparently, I pull my foot off the clutch alittle too fast.  I was about to start the car and make it go, without crying.  I even got up to 3rd gear!!!  I drove us home, and over a ton of speed bumps.  I'm also very good at parking.  I don't think I'll make it to the "real" road without a few more lessons, and one day, maybe the interstate!  Fun times! THANK YOU Hannah!!!

#4 Happiness

Everything we do is in pursuit of ultimate happiness.  It is our innate desire and motivates our every action.  The purpose of meditation is to make our mind peaceful and calm and to free ourselves of worry and stress.   If we eliminate mental discomfort we should experience true happiness.  My 4^th new adventure took me to the Deprung Monastery to take a class in meditation. When I entered the meditation room, I immediately felt a sense of calm.  Geshe Ngawang Phende was the monk who led the session.  When he started talking about our journey of happiness, I knew I would enjoy the class. He seemed like one of the most enjoyable people I’ve ever been around.  I would love to befriend him.  I wonder if he has a facebook? 

He spoke about our desire for happiness and how everything we did was in that ultimate pursuit.  He spoke about how we tend to “buy” ourselves unhappiness, in work or relationships.  We always complicate our lives by not being able to control simple emotions.  If we experience the feeling of unhappiness, we tend to show the world that feeling and the negative feeling is contagious.  Therefore, it’s like a roller coaster affect of unhappiness.  By learning to meditate we are about to gradually train ourselves to become more peaceful and experience a purer form of happiness.  Eventually, we will be able to be happy to be happy even in the most difficult of situations.  Phende explained that it’s okay to have a wandering mind.  That instinctively our mind focuses on ALL aspects of life, good or bad.  Learning meditation will help alleviate some of the worries and insecurities.  I find it very difficult to concentrate on one topic for very long.  He called this a monkey mind.  It is a consciousness that jumps all over the place  and is driven by external circumstances. By training in meditation, we create clarity that enables us to control our mind regardless of the external circumstances. Gradually we develop mental equilibrium, a balanced mind that is happy all the time, rather than an unbalanced mind that fluctuates between the extremes of excitement and depressions.  “If we train in meditation systematically, eventually we will be able to eradicate from our mind the delusions that are the causes of all our problems and suffering. In this way, we will come to experience a permanent inner peace, known as “liberation” or “nirvana”. Then, day and night in life after life, we will experience only peace and happiness.”

I learned that happiness is the key.  Life is simple and short.  It’s true that we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.  We live to be happy and to be good.  I will definitely go back and try to train my monkey mind a little better.  Today, I am happy.

http://www.drepung.org/

"Cause this is Thriller..." #3

"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed"

Adventure #3:  I took a dance class.  In celebration of Halloween, and in the spirit of look for a new adventure, I thought it would be hilarious to learn Michael Jackson's Thriller.  As a little girl, I loved Michael Jackson.  In fact, as a teenager I found these old cartridges in my parents room called 8-tracks.  My mom showed me the two that the had bought me, when I was obviously really young.  One was the soundtrack to Annie and the other was Michael Jackson's Thriller.   We all remember the video.  Micheal on a date, the Zombies, the dancing...It's a classic.  My side kick bestie Kim graciously joined me at the Street Studio (aka Pole dancing) on Halloween along with about 20 other strangers- including one entire family- including a dad to learn this famous routine.   For the most part, we kept up.  There is the shimmy, shimmy move that was very good at faking.  I kept thinking about the movie 13 going on 30...life just doesn't work with everyone KNOWING the moves to dance...but it SHOULD!  It turned out to be a great day!!  I even got my picture taken with "Michael Jackson" himself!

"And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller"

#2 Run Like HELLLLLLL

Adventure # 2- Complete.  I got out of bed at 6:45 yesterday morning to attend my very first 5K in Oakland Cemetery's annual Halloween Run Like Hell.  I was very lucky to have the support of my best friend Kim, who originally didn't get a number but came with me for moral encouragement.  I have never been to Oakland Cemetery.  In 1850, the city of Atlanta established the new cemetery on farmland away from the bustling center of town. Today Oakland it lies in the middle of downtown Atlanta.  Walking through the gates, you feel like you are taking a step back in history.  Some of the headstones are so old, you can barely read the year or state. It is the final resting place of many Confederate soldiers; Maynard Jackson Atlanta's first African American mayor, Ivan Allen, Jr., and  Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind. Many of Oakland’s graves are etched with familiar names borne by Atlanta parks, streets, neighborhoods and businesses. For every beautiful monument marking a prominent or wealthy family, there are hundreds of small, simple headstones. Not far from some of Atlanta’s best known sons and daughters are paupers buried at public expense. It is truly a melting pot of Atlanta history.  It would be a perfect day exploration adventure.

The interesting and fun aspect of this race is that it's on Halloween and there were SO many people dressed in costume.  We saw everything from a guy dressed as a Bee Hive and he had 4 or 5 bees surrounding him to a woman dressed as Dog the Bounty hunters wife.  There was children dressed as smurfs and toilet seats.  It would have been fun just to go and watch the race.  When we got there, luckily there was a table selling extra race numbers and Kim got to get a number!!! It was very exciting to do my first 5 K with my best friend.  I planned to walk the entire thing, so we started out at the end, but as we got close to the start line, with the energy of everyone, we just had to run it (A LITTLE). *side note- I had not eaten breakfast or dinner the night before, not my smartest move.  We were doing really well and ran/walk the first mile in about 15 minutes.  Since we started so far back- I'm gonna say we probably ran/walk it a little faster than that.  The course was very diverse- up and down hills, through neighborhoods, over interstate 20,  and of course through the cemetery.  During the second mile, I tweaked my ankle a bit (damn uneven payment), AND I dropped my Point and Shoot camera-  It threw me off. So we definitely slowed down a little.  Kim was always ahead of me, she is super awesome athlete all-star, but she was always very encouraging and tried not to get too far ahead.  We were saving the "run" part for getting back back to the cemetery.  Once we hit those gates again...there were SO many people there encouraging- saying "Way to go",  "You are almost there,"  It's just around the corner. I was running with Kim, but I was really running out of gas.  I didn't see this corner that everyone kept referring to.  :)  I had to walk a bit, run a bit to keep up with Kim, got a little dizzy (should have ate breakfast), and I finally saw the corner. It was UP another hill. Kim, being the bestie that she is actually got behind me and was literally pushing me....It was hilarious.  Once we got up the hill- she grabbed my hand and was like "We are finishing this together."  We were actually running, holding hands.  This must have been funny, because the guy with the bullhorn was like- "Look at them go, Holding hands. Calhoun, GA."  I had my cousin's wrestling sweatshirt on so I was representing the hometown.  We finished at 49:00.  But we think It was probably in actuality 45:00, because we were so far back in the actual line.  The race closed at 1500 runners, but Kim was 1555.

I am proud of myself.  I think Kim and I are gonna make it a tradition.  I will definitely train a little more for the next one.  I plan to run one completely by the end of the year. I can only improve.  It was a great time...and even better by celebrating at Flying Biscuit!     

The band was playing Thriller to start us off

After the race, Kim wanted me to do the #1 dance

After the race

Adventure #1

I had my first new adventure on Friday.  Two of my best friends joined me for our Pole Dancing class.  I must say going into the class was a bit intimidating at first. You walk into the Orchard Room and it's surrounded in mirrors with beautiful, brightly colored orchards painted on the walk and FIVE poles!  Our instructor comes in in her Halloween "dancing" clothes in 5 inch stilettos.  Her name was Barbie.   Barbie was very encouraging and wanted us to work it and sex it up.  She was like the less clothes the better, so she encouraged us to strip if the feeling hit.  We warmed up with stretches on the pole...moved into squats, dancing, working the hips, stirring the pot.  My hips really don't move like that, but I tried everything.  We learned basic pole moves.  Curling our bodies up and down the pole.  And we learned spins. I was an under achiever at the spins, because I got scared,but I eventually got it down. Kim R. However, could work that pole. Those gymnastics has paid off.  It was a great night.  I'm so happy I got to experience this first adventure with two of my best friends.  I have an entirely new respect for Pole Dancers now. My whole body is sore.  You have to be extremely in shape to do half of those moves.  And you need to have great upper body strength and lower abs. It is something I'll definitely do again.  Maybe take Barbie's Santa land workshop.  Clothes did come off...not ours, but I'll wear something different next time...I have bruises all up in down my legs...Poles are definitely dangerous...but FUN!  If you ever go out, be sure to really tip your dancer ;)

Kim and I before class

Barbie tried to pose me

And then she posed us all

check out the mirrors